A Starry Dream

Last night, I dreamt of a world where the stars and the heavens were so close I could reach above my head and touch them. I felt the soft touch of the clouds against my cheek as I took a nap in the sky, with the sun smiling ever so gently above me. When I arose and saw the stars, I picked one out of the sky and tossed it in the air. I looked around for a friend, because I wanted to play. As soon as I thought it, I could see Johnny waving hello! So, I took the star in my hand and threw it towards him with all my might! He jumped effortlessly in the air and caught it with a smile. We tossed it back and forth until we fell lazily upon a cloud, and I drifted off to sleep, just as my eyes opened and it was morning.

ej

Eternal Inferno

I am reaching beyond my ken
clawing through a tenebrous chasm
i close my eyes to see the light
as the ululating winds dull my mind
the trembling of my finger tips
my fluttering sand filled eyelids
and quivering frigid chaffed lips
the light that never appears
scorns my soul with eternal inferno
burning my core without blister
leaving it's impression that not one
no not one will see or feel

jjf

“Everyone is replaceable”

I had a Mentor that taught me that every person is important in the world. He educated those that would listen by using parables that would be familiar to the students, that they might grasp more complex concepts. Throughout our lives, we gain knowledge from our mentors, whether they are direct or indirect lessons. Their examples leave a lasting impression in our minds and help shape the person we choose to become.

Now, I have been in sales for many years. Most of my sales experience comes from trial and error. When I was eight years old, I got involved with a sales club, which allowed me to “run my own business.” I managed my own schedule, managed all monies, kept a sales log, created a client database, created sales zones, and kept record of zone rotations. I did this all the way through my second year of high school. I made two dollars per item I sold, and I was able to save money for items that I wanted that my parents were unable to provide for me. In high school, I was highest earner for candy sales for my tennis team, simply because I knew how to get results with a minimal amount of effort. The “work smarter, not harder,” concept was in effect. I learned that doing the simple things: smiling, making eye contact, being genuine, exuding confidence, etc., will make all the difference in a sale.

We can also learn under those, who may or may not teach, correct principles. I believe we have the choice to take the best of what they offer, and leave the rest on the table. I have attended sales training seminars as an adult, and they continue to press the importance of those before mentioned key elements. You also have to know what you’re trying to sell. The reason I bring up my experience in sales is because I once had a mentor that said to our group, “Everyone is replaceable.” We all nodded our heads in agreement, but even as I did so, I began to consider what he was really saying. Yes, I agree that in the corporate world, where companies are huge and have hundreds of guys that can all do the same thing, they can be replaced. My mentor was a small business owner, and in order for him to keep his business running well and thriving with new clientele, he had to sell himself. He was a teacher, mentor, and role model for children, teenagers, and adults alike. What made his business special…was his special ability to teach a class in a style that was all his own. Those that participated or watched his class, could feed off his energy and be excited, and leave wanting more. When he decided that he wanted to expand, he trained any Dick, or Harry, or Chimp to try and take his place. There were a few of us that believed in the betterment of the program, and that you could take a simple hobby, and turn it into something exceptional that you could share with others. When a business is built upon one specific person and not one person who has been trained, or possesses the skills or traits to follow in the same footsteps, it can only lead where his business ran…into the ground.

How could he say, “everyone is replaceable?” It doesn’t make sense to me. Each person possesses unique skills, and talents. If you have a staff that is not well rounded, or functioning as one unit, you cannot expect positive results. What he left behind, was a legacy. A legacy that began when we were all sold on the roots of what was already believed in so deeply. Honor. Respect. Perseverance. Integrity. I believe he missed some very important lessons during his experience as a teacher, mentor, and businessman. In a small family owned business, I would think each person is important to making the business run well, especially, one that is based on the appeal of one specific person. If he had built his business selling the program, rather than just himself, there could have been a more realistic expectation from his staff when he up and left without letting his people know. Everyone is replaceable??? Give me a break. Not everything in this world has to be so cold hearted, and “it’s business, baby, only business!”

ej

Never Alone

he was a boy without a home
sweet and tender as he could be
he ran and played without a care
he knew someday he'd have a family too

he'd been down and out and left alone
he knew times were tough but he was too
he believed in God and the Holy ghost
so he would never feel alone

in his soul, his faith ran deep
never complained when the climb was steep
he believed in good no matter the cost
he prayed for those who might be lost
even though he didn't have as much
he knew he would always have His love

they walked into the room of 50 kids
playing games, singing songs
they'd tried so long to have their own
today they were blessed to take one home
every child was smiling sweet
some were afraid, heads down low
they met his gaze and knew he was the one
they had been looking for all along

he was sweet and tender as he could be
ran and played without a care
in his soul, his faith ran deep
he would never feel lonely
he finally had a family

ej

winter

my favourite time of year is winter
everything but time, hibernates
even the leaves turn and fall to rest
to be taken by cold winds blown
with ease and effort, they soar

pursuing the temptation of icy days
Mother stays her course
and the Sun leans gentler still
to join the timeless season
the Moon appears each evening
reminding us to stoke the fire
and tuck our young ones well
for bitter is the Frost at night

Winter is my favourite season,
Late night conversations over,
steamy frothy cups of hot chocolate
enjoying moments when,
you can almost hear time stand still

ej

Who's on deck?

i've got lemon drops in my pocket
and big chew in my glove
i'm heading for the school yard
to meet my friends and play
it's saturday and we've got time
to finish chores early and say,

"the kitchen's clean, the floor is too!
my bed's made, room's picked up
i'll take out the trash, and then
i'll be back this afternoon!
if you need me i'll be at the school
see you soon!"

we're down one player, but that's okay
i'll be pitching for both teams
i'd rather have it that way
always in the action, never stopping
never missing a moment
always looking for the chance to say,

"hey good try, maybe next time!
you don't have to cry!
we've all been there once or twice
batter up, who's on deck?
let's keep playing before it's late
and we have to go back home.
batter up, who's next? let's play!"

ej

Unbreakable Oars

she spends the day, walking in the sand
taking time to ponder about her life
her mother has the kids this week
giving her time she needs to think
he was out of her life without warning
leaving the family in pain and mourning
she knows it wasn't his fault he left
or that God has chosen her to torment
there is a plan for her and she decides
to move ahead with all her might

she's been lonely before
but knows she is loved
her children her parents
and the Lord above

as she stands at the edge of the sea
the tears fall from her face lovingly
she knows she will see her love again
and will be with him in eternity
she thanks her God for his love
and knows her prayer is enough

she will not wait on the sandy shores
she will face the wind and sail on
tho when the wind fades and all seems lost
she'll row with courage, unbreakable oars

ej

I want a black eye!

I am unfulfilled! I used to be Ninja, and now I am not. I have spent a lot of money to train in martial arts at a particular school, and I am malcontented with my current level of conditioning and training. When I returned to the school of choice, I was excited and on fire about where I wanted to be. I wanted to earn my 2nd Degree black belt, and I wanted to be ninja gain so I could compete and get back into the shape I was. I used to be able to do pushups on my feet for days, and do leg lifts and flutter kicks for as long as they wanted me to. I could kick a man standing 6’4" square on the side of his face standing toe to toe with him. It was a great feeling to have that sort of flexibility and stamina. I loved to fight on the ground and wrap it up with the boys, but now, there are only two people to fight and not enough energy to even do that! Kelly and I started back with high energy and enthusiasm, only to be shot down by one of the instructors, who treated us very poorly, and without equality, as we were expecting special treatment. He toned down our energy level, by reprimanding us on our intensity level. Why would a person do that? When his students were benefiting from the increased level of excitement in the classroom, and wanted to get on the train?

Kelly and I talked last night, and she was feeling the same way! So, we decided we don’t need their school to be ninja, and are going to turn her garage into our own little dojo and train like we used to! Before Mr. Ekholm was Master Ekholm, and they made us wear way too much protective gear! When we would go full contact and get sore faces and noses, and injured, and that was okay, because we were mean, lean fighting machines! We remember how we used to train, and literally blood, sweat, tears, and lots of puking, because we pushed it to the limit!
Now, everyone has to be nice, so that everyone feels good. You’re gonna struggle, it’s part of life, it’s part of martial arts. You are not always gonna pass the test, and that’s just how it goes. You have to suck it up and take the test again! We received a no change and it made us work so much harder. To not have passed the test, really brought us together! We trained together, we tested together, and we failed together. There was no one person passing on his or her own, we had to do it together. I miss those days, but I take from those experiences all the knowledge and skill and work out with my ninja, Kelly and whoever else wants to join us. I can always pick another style, or school.

I just want to fight and learn and get into shape doing it. Most importantly, I want to have fun!

ej

Love Thy Neighbor

i saw my father cry once
when i was six years old
he told me "some people died today"
he was praying on his knees
praying that their families
and loved ones would alright
though i didn't understand it then
i know now that it's true

we have to love one another
even if they may be a stranger
my father taught me that way
to praise God and live for today
He told us to love our neighbor
even as we love our Savior
pray for love for others

i still believe the words
my father spoke that day
even though we don't talk
like we used to do
he taught me good things too
and the rest we just let go

I saw my father cry again
I actually felt something this time
It was different than before
But tears began to fill my eyes
I blinked them away
And thought about when I was six
The people he prayed for
This time it wasn’t someone else’s mother
It was his and he sang to honor her

ej

I don't like to watch the Tele

i don’t like to watch the tele,
especially the news.
i'd rather play football then
watch it monday night.

i like a good film now and again,
mostly for background noise.
there are times i feel so lazy,
i can hardly move a muscle.
there are days i cannot be stopped,
when i decide to go.

i get so tired at the end of a day,
my eyes will cross, my toes cry out
"stop! and let me be!"
my heart beats loudly in my ears,
like quasimodo found
a new home

i don't like to sit around and stare
my walls are white and plain
but that is not what bothers me
i like them white it looks so clean
it's sitting, wondering

"how else will i fill my time?"
i don't need people every moment
of my dayin fact i'd rather shoot
my right toe,
with a gun and buck shot
blow it clean away

i only do what i must
because i know it's right
however
without my right toe
i'd be watching football
every monday night

ej

Escaping

i spent so many hours searching
praying for a way of escaping
in a quiet, hidden prison i laid dreamless
asking "why i'd been so shameless?"
i had a fear of someone knowing
or seeing me not glowing
he told me it was all he needed
but it was me, he mistreated
escaping the darkness
running from the fear
even in the daylight
I can’t hold back the tears
I blamed myself at the start
and my world was torn apart
in a world where truth so easily hides
i hugged my knees singing lullabies
i was taught to smile no matter what
so i wiped away my tears
stood up on my own two feet
despite all my fears

jjf

Society Says

society says, "dress like this,
don't say that!"
but really no one is truly happy
either way we move along
being what we think we should
too afraid to be just who we ought
to, be who we really are
why do we choose acceptance
no matter what the cost?
is it me? is it who,
you think me to be?
do i wake up happy to know
that i am me and it's enoug
hand that is what He loves?
we all want to be happy
but who really is?
i am happy when i'm me
with no disguise to hide
let my fears show you
who i am inside
i don't need to be afraid
i just need you to see
that who I am inside
should be enough, you see?

ej

Solitude (Silly)

i sit in solitude
as i relieve my waters
some say i'm crude
'cause i eat alligators
i like to drink coke
i know a guy who smokes
i eat 'cause it's there
i don't brush my hair
if i could do one thing,
just one thing!
i'd grab a man's "HOO HAW"
just to make him sing!

ej

too much oatmeal

i ate too much oatmeal today
tho it could've been the soy
i drank orange soda icy cold
made my tongue turn orange
the corn dog and the boiled eggs
went straight to my thighs
who counts the calories? not i

i'm too many pounds and happy
what does the doctor say?
you eat too much,
or you too little
what is a girl to do?

ej

Wild as the Wind

she turned three today
her daddy's late again
he's been working overtime
says times are tough
it's what he has to do
i remember the days
when,


we were young and in love
and wild as the wind
he took me far above
the moon and stars
i thought it would never end
we were young and in love
and wild as the wind


wondering now if we can
still make things right
i look at my baby girl and smile
she's what helps me see the light
when it's dark outside
and the bed is cold and lonely
unlike when,


we were young and in love
and wild as the wind
late summer nights dancing
holding each other close
not afraid of what tomorrow
or the world might bring
we were young and in love
and wild as the wind

he gets home late, doesn’t say a word
never says "i love you"
or holds me like before
he's the man i see when i dream
i wish he would take me to the days
when,

we were young and in love
and wild as the wind
driving with the top down
carefree and smiling
we sped through town

jjf

Tumbling Teddies

WHEN EYES ARE HEAVY AT SLEEPY TIME
AND WARM NIGHTS, HAVE TURNED COLD
OF DISTANT WORLDS SUBLIME
YOUR DREAM FILLED SLEEP UNFOLDS
WITH HER HAND THAT IS STEADY
AND A HEART FULL OF LOVE
SHIELDED BY HER WINGS LIKE A DOVE
SHE HOLDS YOU, HER TUMBLING TEDDY

ej

Come Home Daddy

No light of day just dark of night
How the wind howls and gives me fright
I wait beside my daddy’s chair
Holding fast with Teddy Bear
mommy says turn out the light
I shiver with cold in candlelight
"hold me close, and hold me near"
I say to mommy with a tear
"hush now sweetheart, time to sleep.
daddy’s close now, no need to weep."
I close my eyes and drift away
I hope that daddy comes home today

ej

April Showers Bring May Flowers

March is the beginning of a new season
When the snow begins to melt away all reason
The sun shines brightly and invites all
Those who accept, dare to take the fall
To live and to learn, is what shapes us
To forgive and forget, in this we Trust
Even when raindrops fall from the sky
Soar to new heights, with wings we fly
Even at times when we shed sad Tears
Like flowers that survive long winters
We remember that April showers,
Always bring May Flowers

ej

Smelly Shoes

I have a pair of shoes that I enjoy wearing. They are the kind of shoes that will go with nearly everything I wear. Normally, when I don't know which pair will go with what outfit, my default choice is my black ballet shoes. They are universal and comfortable. It's like walking barefoot...but not. I can wear them with a cute pair of jeans, or with a stylish pair of pedal pushers and cute top, or I can wear them with my Sunday skirt and blouse!
There is one slight problem...my feet make them smell! It's horrible! Okay, so I purchased them at Payless, but does the sweat from my feet have to give them such redolence? Do inexpensive shoes have to have this common problem? The shoes I love to wear because they allow me to feel like a delicate princess walking down the corridor of her castle. I love to point my toes like a ballerina while I wait for the elevator! It makes me smile and feel giddy inside, like a little girl might feel as she waits for her turn to go onstage for her first dance recital!
However, there is the repulsive odor I mentioned earlier. Imagine this: A very good looking man (who smells amazing by the way) picks you up for dinner and after you invite him in and finish the small talk, you finally decide to leave. On your way out the door, you pick the shoes for the evening by thinking to yourself "black ballet shoes, please." You make your way to the truck feeling the excitement of the moment. You remember how wonderful he smelled as he hugged you during that happy salutation only a few minutes before. Then, as you are enjoying your dinner you think about doing "the girl thing." Ladies, you know what I'm talking about; kicking off your shoes under the table and feeling comfortable. However, as I consider doing this and get one shoe partly off I remember the repugnant odor as it makes it's way up to my nostril hairs! "OH NO!" I think to myself, but it's too late! I sit and wonder if he'll notice, and if he does, will he know it's me??? We get back to my apartment and hug good-bye and again, he envelops you in an extended embrace, and even though you are not planning on pursuing him romantically, you smile slightly and close your eyes and breath him in. You love him because he is your friend and has been for years, but hope that even though he loves you too, he doesn't pass out from the malodorous, but super cute shoes you've chosen to wear.

ej

Turned it down

I guess I considered it too late, but there was a coaching position available at one of the local high schools and I inquired after the position was filled. It was coaching the Girl's Basketball team and I was excited to even go after it. Next year, perhaps I can look into it a little sooner maybe. I was contacted by a gentleman for coaching a middle school boys lacrosse team, and it sounded really great. However, I had to turn down the opportunity because the games were on Saturday and/or Sundays. I told him that Sundays were not good for me, because I don't work on Sundays. He still wanted to move forward, but I couldn't do it. There would be too much temptation to work just one sunday...then I would be going against my rule, so I said "no." There will be other opportunities, maybe not this year, but there will be others!

I have been writing a little bit lately, but haven't been able to work on any melody. That's been really frustrating, as the melody is what will bring it all together. Even if I just threw some chords together on the guitar it would work. We'll see!

ej