Man...
It's really difficult for my mind to grasp that he's really gone. He was going to be 31 years old this year and I was just thinking a week or so ago that we hadn't chatted in a long time. He was my karaoke Tambourine Man! I am not sure what to make of all the emotion. I feel sad.
My life has been at a crossroads for a few months now. Contemplating going back to school has created a lot of extra work for me mentally and emotionally. Should I stay working both jobs and still try and get into School? Which one should I keep if I do go back to school? How much is medical coverage if I decide on one job over the other? Should I accept this job offer or that job offer? Should I just say "no" and stick with my initial plan to work one job? Should I give up my apartment and choose a life of utter poverty to go back to school? How can I be a better support for my family during this time of crisis? Is Brandon really gone? How are the kids going to react if I decide to quit? Will they even care? Will I miss them too much to leave? How will I pay the bills? Did I dream about Brandon, is he really gone???
Brandon...
What a great kid! I don't know that I have ever been in his presence when he wasn't smiling. Even when he was sick and in pain he still smiled, at least whenever I was around. I remember last year he had been in the hospital and I had happened to send him a text and didn't know he was in hospital. I could still sense his cheery sense of humor as we exchanged texts. Even when he was explaining why he was hospitalized, I could still hear optimism. I could hear him smile as we communicated. It made me smile.
With Brandon gone and his funeral coming up this weekend, I can't help but forget my worries for a moment. Be easy, Easy Money! I'll see you on the other side!
ej
2 comments:
Hang in there Crazy. Everything will work out.
I remember that guy. I never got to know him that well, but you are right, he was always smiling! I'm sorry you are going through all this Erika! The gospel is a great thing, because we can be comforted to know, he's in his true home and is being cared for by his loving Heavenly Father. We love ya girl!
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